glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
