My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
