I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
