Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
