yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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