I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
