Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
