If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
