her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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