So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
