Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
