Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
