Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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