i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
