Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
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