My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
