How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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