My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
did you just send me my own nude
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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