Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
