Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
