He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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