shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
