I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
