Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you would pick up someone in the library
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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