elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
