I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
