i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
