she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
