shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
we're making bets on your personal life
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
