were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
