New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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