when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
