Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
