when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
