"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
