Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I believe in your delicious
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
