But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
