Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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