U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
