I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
