You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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