im drinking this country out of the recession.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
