I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
