Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
