I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize