Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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