capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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