took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
