I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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