I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize