some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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