I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
