I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
