I don't think brook has ever known best
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
