But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
