you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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