2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
