Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
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