What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
