is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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